Inside of you, there is an inner child. Someone who is innocent, curious, energetic, creative, spontaneous, and free with emotions.
Children! I’ve been drawn to them my whole life.
Surrounded by them in my work life and now into retirement. And I thank God every day for the gift of their laughter, their free spirit, their endless joy, and their unconditional love. But why is this so important to me?
I’ve spent several years, also, reflecting on my past, in particular my childhood. At some points, I grow tired of how it crops up in my memory. It’s like I want to solve something that is done and gone so why am I constantly trying to figure it out?
Well, here is my aha moment. Just today, as I’m reading a chapter in Louise Hay’s “You can heal your life”, it occurred to me. Each of the children, I have spent time with, represent me; the inner me, the child me, the one who always wanted acceptance, encouragement, guidance, praise, and unconditional love. As a child, I didn’t get much of that. As an adult, I still have that inner child yearning. Well, maybe my constant reflections on my past had me wanting to change the messages of my childhood, my inner child.
Now, I see what I have managed to do with my life. I have been raising my inner child the way I wanted to be raised. Does that make sense? I think that maybe if a parent is raising a child with anger, they might be yelling at their own inner child for not being good enough. If they become frustrated with their child perhaps that too is inner child memories. Memories of not being able to compete with other children successfully, not being able to learn as fast, jump as high. Perhaps my mother was dealing with inner child conflicts that I could never have known. I wanted something different.
I have a new take on things, now.
Whenever I work through a project with a child demonstrating care and patience, I realize that I am demonstrating this to my inner child as well. When I read books and talk with my grand daughter about how she can be anything she wants to be, I am empowering me as well as her. When I take time to get down on the floor and play whatever it is they want to play, that’s me down there wanting someone to enjoy spending time with me. When we make up stories or draw silly pictures we are together in growing our creativity. And when we sit together on the couch just snuggling, I am holding that little girl in me who longed so much for unconditional love.
So now, I think, I am living in a constant state of creating me and that, for some reason, makes so much sense and makes me very happy. Not only does it make sense, it will help guide my activities with them now with more patience, understanding and joy.
I will celebrate, every day, my inner child.
Days With Grandma 