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Trick Or Treat?

It started out as an idea from Pinterest, as simple as simple can be.

Grandma said, “Do you want to help me?”

The three year old, still thinking pumpkin goop, just said, “No”.

But Grandma said this would be different and so she gave it a go.

Your little sister had some fun, as babies like to do.

For sure she wanted to be involved. She likes to do things too.

She kept herself busy, trying on hat after hat.

But then she gave a signal. She’d had enough of that.

So she got an early start on the stuffing that belonged inside.

Grandma got the plate in front of her right before she cried.

That left the heavy lifting all up to the one who is three.

She lifted that spoon so perfectly and with a look of total glee.

Now some of the mixture made it into the exact right place.

But more found it’s way into this cute little face!

In the end, as these stories often go,

Grandma stuffed the peppers and the kids…

were happily full!

So was this a trick or was it a treat?

It didn’t really matter. The fun was hard to beat.

I Want Them To Know Me!

IMG_7118It’s My Goal

I Want Them To Know Me

They live far away.  I can’t see them every day.

Still I want them to know me.

In between visits, we chat on the phone but I can’t see how much they’ve grown.

I want them to know me.

So visits are as frequent as they can be and when we’re together I can actually see…

They really do know me!

 

And So I Travel Back And Forth

When I leave home, my mind is preoccupied with all the things I’ve left undone.  My home needs my attention.  My other grand-babies count on me.  There’s always a little melancholy as I pack to leave. Still, I pack that bag and hit the airport early so there is no chance I will miss that flight. And when I arrive, my home takes a back seat to this home, these babies. And sure enough, they’ve grown.  But they know me!

We pick up right where we left off.  My grandson…oh goodness, there will always be a special bond between us.  He knows just how to melt my heart.  This time, it was by moving a chair close to me and saying, “I want to sit by you, Grandma, because I love you.”  On the first night, though, he struggles with his routine.  “Can Grandma read your bedtime story?”  “No, I want mommy to…but I still love you Grandma.” By the end of this visit, he invites me to that special time of the day.  “You can come lay with us, Grandma.”  I have earned a place again.

Now, my granddaughter, she’s a little tougher.  She and I did not grow up together.  Her  connection to her mommy is deeper. I have to work to gain her trust, every single time, but last night she let me rock her to sleep. I worked my way into her heart one more time.

Making Memories

I’m trying to capture golden moments.  I’m trying to be part of their life, feel their days – the good and the bad parts.  It won’t be long and they’ll be too busy for their grandma.  Friendships and activities will consume their time and I will be relegated to periodic visits for school concerts or athletic events.  I know this.

And so, on each trip, we try to plan something that is memorable.  This time, it turned out to be as simple as setting up a wading pool and sprinkler.  They’d not done either yet. So, guess what?  We did it!  Mommy bought a new garden hose and pulled out a blow up pool that had been waiting since last summer.  Together, we made that moment happen and it was so completely joyful.  They jumped and splashed in the extraordinary May heat; laughing, screaming, and shouting out to the birds in the trees.  It was the moment I will remember from this trip.

Then, I try to take part in their events.  I want to feel their days.  This trip, it was a short little kids yoga class at their preschool, library story time, and a T-ball game. Then, mix in the play time activities.  This time, it was all about tiny legos.  Last time, it was the Super Ultimate Garage! My grandson dominates the play choices still.  His sister adores him so she gladly follows along.

And Before I Know It…

Another trip comes to an end and my eyes fill with tears…again.  It never gets easier.  It’s always the same. We talk about when the next time will be, how short a time there is to wait, but two months is a long time for all of us.  We just pretend that the time will go fast.

No Matter What

Until they are too busy, until I am no longer able to travel, I will make these trips.  I will continue to live from one memory to the next.  My days as a Grandma are still the best days of my life.  I’ll take the melancholy and the tears over and over again because in between them there is so much laughter and love.

Happy Birthday, Beautiful Little Girl

To the most beautiful little girl. Thank you for filling our life with so much joy.

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And so you reach the end of this,
your year number one.
Hanna Jae, you have
become a joy,
a joy to everyone.

original_url: A6F48100-AE61-4F28-A5A9-03B5694141FE

 

 

 

 

You have taught us
to deal with the things that
life can throw your way;
Wearing issues with pride,
Melting hearts along the way.

 

 

original_url: AEB49CA2-3A0E-4C38-9970-26E3E56742C8

 

You handled a brother
who’s bigger than you.
When he tackled you,
you knew what to do.

You just got back up!

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When he takes his toys
away from you.
You just go back
and now take two.

 

 

 

original_url: 40012472-F353-45DC-BACF-6817254DB34B

 

 

You stay calm and
go with the flow.
Helmets and hip braces
Taught you to go slow.

 

 

 

original_url: 9DE49C22-3DCE-4855-BC87-5D46C71D52C2

 

Your face shows
the look of quiet observation.
A look of trust, acceptance,
and cautious experimentation.

 

 

original_url: 4E830802-7377-425E-B329-4036598C71FA

 

 

Love is such a little word
But oh if you only knew,
how you’ve filled us to the brim
with this little word.

There’s so much love for you.

Days With Grandma Returns

Watch out! This Grandma’s back in business. The antics will continue with the newest baby in the family. Stay tuned.

January 14, 2017

Life Reset

It’s been a while since I’ve written. I had believed that my days with my grandson would last until he went off to school.  I had four or five good years, I thought.  Then I found out that he was about to become a big brother and my heart exploded.  My contract was sure to be extended!

Instead, “Days With Grandma” stopped; moved away.

Days are now visits, some longer than others but, all of them, short. Happiness fills those visits but I’m constantly reminded that it’s a visit.  It will end. So, I’ve struggled with writing about the joy that truly fills me each time. Visits are different.  I’m a guest…a special guest for sure, but none the less a brief diversion from the new routine. And so I watch as he shows me his new skills; running, climbing, building.  I see that he has embraced other little people as well;  thrilled to have others his size to run and climb and build with too.  He talks and sings now. Words spill freely from his consciousness. How did he learn all of that?  Laughter erupts often as he shares his unique view of the world.  One day, he described his throat as a drain which was super cute and logical so why did it surprise me when he also said that he had a “poop drain”?  Logical, lovable, growing up connections.

He’s now a big brother.  He has a little sister.  I enjoy my minutes with her but I have to admit, I don’t know her as well. I haven’t watched her every movement from the day she was born.  Our relationship has been a Facetime connection.  Every time I visit, she looks at me, initially, as a stranger.  During the visit, I hold her, rock her, play with her, and love her.  But, I don’t have stories to write about her. Her brother commands more attention.  She, quietly, observes his antics and throws out big beautiful smiles when we remember that she’s there too.  I am determined to visit often so she knows me, truly know me. But, I know it will always be different.

Days With Grandma Returns

Life goes on.  Right?  Time changes things.  I adjust.

And then, I learn there’s a new baby on the way.  This baby lives three blocks from me. I’m about to be a Grandma again!   Can I help with childcare?  Are you kidding me?

Yes.  Yes.  Yes. 

My Grandma duty started this week!  This time, I tell myself, “Just remember…

Enjoy the moment…the moment.

I Will Always Carry You

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In the beginning,
I didn’t know
just how much I’d love
watching you grow?

In the beginning
I just knew
I wanted you to know me
and me to know you.

So, in the beginning
I carried you and danced around, wild and free.
And then one day, my heart skipped a beat
because, you…you smiled up at me.

Well, time goes by so fast,and every day, you just grew and grew
First you crawled and then you walked.
I had to hurry to keep up with you.

You talk so much now
and you try to be a big boy too
but when you grow tired and reach up to me.
I can’t resist, when you say, “Carry you.”

The words are not quite right yet
Which makes it all so dear.
I just reach down and pick you up.
My heart melts as I hold you near.

Now you have a baby sister;
someone new for me to carry when she cries.
Even though it’s been just a few days,
she looks right at me with trusting eyes.

A little boy and now a baby girl;
I can feel my heart expand.
It just so happens, apparently,
I have plenty of love on hand.

I want to rock and sing to this new baby girl
and, with you, I want to play and play.
But time is passing and my eyes tear up.
Grandma’s visit will end soon. I now live far away.

But there’s a special place
for my little man and now his baby sister too.
It’s this great big place inside my heart,
Where I will always carry you.

Edges Of A Day

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My job, right now, is to take the sharpness off the edges of each day.

That’s what I wrote in my journal this morning.

Grandma’s job, when a new baby is born, is to be there; to just be there.

I try to remember back when my second child was born.  Who helped me?  My mom had died earlier that year.  Still, I would not have reached out to her for help.  She told me with my first “I raised my kids.  I don’t want to raise your’s.”  I am a different kind of grandma.

I am here…

This grandma learned, early on, that she needed to stay physically fit to keep up with growing baby number one. And, now that baby is two years old and we play together in bouncy houses and he challenges me to races in the hallway. “Run, grandma, run.  Hop, grandma, hop. Roll, grandma, roll”.  I get quite a workout from my little trainer.

I am here… to keep him busy while mama cares of the new baby.

The new baby had a need for doctor visits.  Something’s not right.  Mama and daddy are emotional and stressed.

I am here… to listen and encourage.  “Trust that everything will be ok.  Trust.”

Big brother doesn’t understand why things are different now.  “Daddy, play!”  Daddy is busy trying to help mama.  Big brother gets louder and louder.

I am here… to give him another option besides screaming.

I try to remember how I did it when my two girls were little.  How did I cope with the crying, the noise, the needs of two babies, and mountains of cloth diapers?  How did I do it alone?

This grandma raised her children but has more to give.

I am here… to take the sharpness off the edges of the day.

Sweet Memories

IMG_9708

Runny nose,
Running feet.
Little boy.
So,
So,
Sweet.

Pushing trucks,
Playing in sand.
Fingerprints left by
His
Little
Hand.

Happy chatter,
Singing songs.
Happy boy,
All
Day
Long.

Home filled.
So much noise!
Watch your step!
So
Many
Toys!

New baby!
Little sister.
Gentle touch.
Softly,
Kiss
Her.

Sun sets.
Another day.
Tears fall.
No
Daddy.
Play!

Sweet Moments
Flying by.
Cherished memories.
Make
Me
Cry!

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