I Will Always Carry You

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In the beginning,
I didn’t know
just how much I’d love
watching you grow?

In the beginning
I just knew
I wanted you to know me
and me to know you.

So, in the beginning
I carried you and danced around, wild and free.
And then one day, my heart skipped a beat
because, you…you smiled up at me.

Well, time goes by so fast,and every day, you just grew and grew
First you crawled and then you walked.
I had to hurry to keep up with you.

You talk so much now
and you try to be a big boy too
but when you grow tired and reach up to me.
I can’t resist, when you say, “Carry you.”

The words are not quite right yet
Which makes it all so dear.
I just reach down and pick you up.
My heart melts as I hold you near.

Now you have a baby sister;
someone new for me to carry when she cries.
Even though it’s been just a few days,
she looks right at me with trusting eyes.

A little boy and now a baby girl;
I can feel my heart expand.
It just so happens, apparently,
I have plenty of love on hand.

I want to rock and sing to this new baby girl
and, with you, I want to play and play.
But time is passing and my eyes tear up.
Grandma’s visit will end soon. I now live far away.

But there’s a special place
for my little man and now his baby sister too.
It’s this great big place inside my heart,
Where I will always carry you.

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Edges Of A Day

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My job, right now, is to take the sharpness off the edges of each day.

That’s what I wrote in my journal this morning.

Grandma’s job, when a new baby is born, is to be there; to just be there.

I try to remember back when my second child was born.  Who helped me?  My mom had died earlier that year.  Still, I would not have reached out to her for help.  She told me with my first “I raised my kids.  I don’t want to raise your’s.”  I am a different kind of grandma.

I am here…

This grandma learned, early on, that she needed to stay physically fit to keep up with growing baby number one. And, now that baby is two years old and we play together in bouncy houses and he challenges me to races in the hallway. “Run, grandma, run.  Hop, grandma, hop. Roll, grandma, roll”.  I get quite a workout from my little trainer.

I am here… to keep him busy while mama cares of the new baby.

The new baby had a need for doctor visits.  Something’s not right.  Mama and daddy are emotional and stressed.

I am here… to listen and encourage.  “Trust that everything will be ok.  Trust.”

Big brother doesn’t understand why things are different now.  “Daddy, play!”  Daddy is busy trying to help mama.  Big brother gets louder and louder.

I am here… to give him another option besides screaming.

I try to remember how I did it when my two girls were little.  How did I cope with the crying, the noise, the needs of two babies, and mountains of cloth diapers?  How did I do it alone?

This grandma raised her children but has more to give.

I am here… to take the sharpness off the edges of the day.

Sweet Memories

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Runny nose,
Running feet.
Little boy.
So,
So,
Sweet.

Pushing trucks,
Playing in sand.
Fingerprints left by
His
Little
Hand.

Happy chatter,
Singing songs.
Happy boy,
All
Day
Long.

Home filled.
So much noise!
Watch your step!
So
Many
Toys!

New baby!
Little sister.
Gentle touch.
Softly,
Kiss
Her.

Sun sets.
Another day.
Tears fall.
No
Daddy.
Play!

Sweet Moments
Flying by.
Cherished memories.
Make
Me
Cry!

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I Smiled

Begin Again

IMG_9498But first, I cried… as I took the empty carseat out of my car. I cried as I opened the back door only to see leftovers from breakfast: his favorite fruit yesterday was not his favorite fruit today. In the living room, there was a basket of blocks meant to stay at Grandma’s house. My home was now silent. I had just returned from dropping him and his mama off at the airport. They don’t live here anymore.

But, I smiled.

Now, I have nothing but time to retrace the days of their visit. It had been over a month since I’d seen them. I was thrilled that they were coming and they were going to stay with me! I bought books, and toys, and little boy pajamas with cartoon characters on them. I set up a Pack-N-Play in my spare bedroom with a fresh new crib sheet. I pulled out…

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Sensory Play Gone Wild

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It started out perfect

A great way to play.

Daddy thought you’d like pushing your tractors

Through some rice in a tray.

It was  kind of fun.

You were enjoying this play

But then somehow…

Some of the rice got away!

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“It’s ok,” Grandma said,

“it won’t hurt a thing.”

And with that you gathered up some more

And gave it a good FLING!

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“No, No, No!” Grandma shrieked

That’s not what we do.

And just like that, you reached for

Handful, number two!

Well, Grandma put a stop

To this thing called “sensory play”

Then got out the broom and dustpan

And made you sweep the mess away.

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Well, later that day

Grandma had a change of heart

She got out the tray again and thought

We’ll give this “sensory play” thing another start.

But once again, within seconds

Or maybe a wee bit more

Handfuls of rice starting

Bouncing off the floor!

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This time, Grandma just studied

This act of simple joy.

The bouncing beads of rice

Seemed to be better than any toy!

You, finally, stood up

It seemed you were done with this explore.

But, oh no,  you weren’t satisfied

Until every last bit was on the floor.

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In fact, it seemed like all that rice

Had just been in your way.

What you really wanted was

To crawl inside that tray!

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Time To Get Dirty!

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Time to plant some flowers, little man.

You can help.

At least, that’s the plan.

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I can dig, Grandma,

just like you.

You have a shovel

and I have one too.

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Oh, wait, this is a little path

that must be meant for me.

I can walk right through it.

Check this out Grandma.  Can you see?

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Do you see this fence

on the other side?

It doesn’t come down.

Trust me, I tried!

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Wait, I hear something.

What’s that going by?

That’s a helicopter, little man.

Wow, I wish I could fly.

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Ok, Grandma, I’m done with the dirt

and I’m getting kinda hot.

But, we have to water the flowers first.

Actually we have to water them a lot!

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Oh-oh, Grandma,

I don’t think I understood.

But, my  watering can is empty now.

Is that good?

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Can we be done now, Grandma

or is there more to do?

Here, I picked up this dirt

for you.

Pushing Buttons…And So Much More!

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                              Don’t touch!

Today’s world is so much different than when this grandma was a little child.  Still some day, you might remember things that your grandma taught you.  I hope that your clearest memory isn’t “No”.

This word is so familiar to you that, when it’s said, you shake your head back and forth, pause for a couple of seconds and then  proceed with your quest. When I was little, the word “No” was said with a loud voice and followed by a hand slap. Lucky for you, I’m not that kind of grandma.

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Nothing can stop you anymore!

Right now, you love to push buttons!  I didn’t know there were so many buttons in our lives these days.  Buttons on the DVR have been guarded by your Pack and Play for so long but, now, you just push that out of your way!  The remote control has so many buttons that you’d think it would be impossible to turn the tv on but you do that successfully any time you get your hands on that button toy.

Then there are the buttons on the washer and dryer, the stove front, and the doorbell speaker system, the refrigerator ice machine, and every computer, phone and ipad in the house.  Today, I could only take photos from a distance because you wanted to play with the buttons on that as well.  This might mean that you may be seeing an over abundance of crying baby photos in the near future.  It was when you pushed the ottoman out of the way so you could get to the buttons on the plugged in timer for the lamp that I had to get serious!

Well, what’s a grandma to do?

Divert, divert, divert!

There are plenty of other things in your home that are great to touch, and safe.  So we went exploring.  Here’s what we found…

IMG_7270You love the feeling of cold windows and you are now tall enough to see out the front windows.  There’s a bonus here.  You also love to watch the cars go by.  “Car” is now counted as one of your regular words.

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The carpet is so nice to touch that you actually like just laying on it.  Climbing the stairs is the bonus that comes along with that tactile adventure.

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The ball pit is a super fun place for you to push things around. Today, though, you realized that you can tip the whole thing over which scared you a little until you saw all the balls spill out and then you just thought that was supremely funny.  AND, you loving watching grandma pick them all up and put them back.  Apparently, that meant that it was time to tip the house over again.

Time to divert your attention to something else again. Grandma didn’t think it was aa funny as you did.

Ok, so if you love to touch things, push on things, and make a mess, grandma had another plan:  controlled tactile stimulation.

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          Edible Play Dough
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              Kinetic Sand

As usual, your grandma thought she had two winners here.  The play dough even smells wonderful as it is made with Kool-aide (check out Pinterest for the recipe).

Well, you didn’t like either one.  In fact, you only barely touched each one with one finger and then wanted to be done with that.

In fact, our whole touching adventure lasted for a grand total of about twenty minutes.   There were no buttons, no sound, no vibrating mechanisms on the windows but you had the bonus of cars driving by.  The feel of the carpet came with a great climbing adventure.  And the ball pit, well, that actually was funny.  The play dough and sand, however, came with no real bonuses.  It just is whatever you make it out to be.  You may be too young yet to see that creativity can be fun.  I think we are going to have to practice pushing play dough and sand around a little more each day.

Who knows, some day you might like it as much as pushing buttons.