grandma – Days With Grandma

I Want Them To Know Me!

It’s My Goal

I Want Them To Know Me

They live far away. I can’t see them every day.

Still I want them to know me.

In between visits, we chat on the phone but I can’t see how much they’ve grown.

I want them to know me.

So visits are as frequent as they can be and when we’re together I can actually see…

They really do know me!

And So I Travel Back And Forth

When I leave home, my mind is preoccupied with all the things I’ve left undone. My home needs my attention. My other grand-babies count on me. There’s always a little melancholy as I pack to leave. Still, I pack that bag and hit the airport early so there is no chance I will miss that flight. And when I arrive, my home takes a back seat to this home, these babies. And sure enough, they’ve grown. But they know me!

We pick up right where we left off. My grandson…oh goodness, there will always be a special bond between us. He knows just how to melt my heart. This time, it was by moving a chair close to me and saying, “I want to sit by you, Grandma, because I love you.” On the first night, though, he struggles with his routine. “Can Grandma read your bedtime story?” “No, I want mommy to…but I still love you Grandma.” By the end of this visit, he invites me to that special time of the day. “You can come lay with us, Grandma.” I have earned a place again.

Now, my granddaughter, she’s a little tougher. She and I did not grow up together. Her connection to her mommy is deeper. I have to work to gain her trust, every single time, but last night she let me rock her to sleep. I worked my way into her heart one more time.

Making Memories

I’m trying to capture golden moments. I’m trying to be part of their life, feel their days – the good and the bad parts. It won’t be long and they’ll be too busy for their grandma. Friendships and activities will consume their time and I will be relegated to periodic visits for school concerts or athletic events. I know this.

And so, on each trip, we try to plan something that is memorable. This time, it turned out to be as simple as setting up a wading pool and sprinkler. They’d not done either yet. So, guess what? We did it! Mommy bought a new garden hose and pulled out a blow up pool that had been waiting since last summer. Together, we made that moment happen and it was so completely joyful. They jumped and splashed in the extraordinary May heat; laughing, screaming, and shouting out to the birds in the trees. It was the moment I will remember from this trip.

Then, I try to take part in their events. I want to feel their days. This trip, it was a short little kids yoga class at their preschool, library story time, and a T-ball game. Then, mix in the play time activities. This time, it was all about tiny legos. Last time, it was the Super Ultimate Garage! My grandson dominates the play choices still. His sister adores him so she gladly follows along.

And Before I Know It…

Another trip comes to an end and my eyes fill with tears…again. It never gets easier. It’s always the same. We talk about when the next time will be, how short a time there is to wait, but two months is a long time for all of us. We just pretend that the time will go fast.

No Matter What

Until they are too busy, until I am no longer able to travel, I will make these trips. I will continue to live from one memory to the next. My days as a Grandma are still the best days of my life. I’ll take the melancholy and the tears over and over again because in between them there is so much laughter and love.

Days With Grandma Returns

Watch out! This Grandma’s back in business. The antics will continue with the newest baby in the family. Stay tuned.

January 14, 2017

Life Reset

It’s been a while since I’ve written. I had believed that my days with my grandson would last until he went off to school. I had four or five good years, I thought. Then I found out that he was about to become a big brother and my heart exploded. My contract was sure to be extended!

Instead, “Days With Grandma” stopped; moved away.

Days are now visits, some longer than others but, all of them, short. Happiness fills those visits but I’m constantly reminded that it’s a visit. It will end. So, I’ve struggled with writing about the joy that truly fills me each time. Visits are different. I’m a guest…a special guest for sure, but none the less a brief diversion from the new routine. And so I watch as he shows me his new skills; running, climbing, building. I see that he has embraced other little people as well; thrilled to have others his size to run and climb and build with too. He talks and sings now. Words spill freely from his consciousness. How did he learn all of that? Laughter erupts often as he shares his unique view of the world. One day, he described his throat as a drain which was super cute and logical so why did it surprise me when he also said that he had a “poop drain”? Logical, lovable, growing up connections.

He’s now a big brother. He has a little sister. I enjoy my minutes with her but I have to admit, I don’t know her as well. I haven’t watched her every movement from the day she was born. Our relationship has been a Facetime connection. Every time I visit, she looks at me, initially, as a stranger. During the visit, I hold her, rock her, play with her, and love her. But, I don’t have stories to write about her. Her brother commands more attention. She, quietly, observes his antics and throws out big beautiful smiles when we remember that she’s there too. I am determined to visit often so she knows me, truly know me. But, I know it will always be different.

Days With Grandma Returns

Life goes on. Right? Time changes things. I adjust.

And then, I learn there’s a new baby on the way. This baby lives three blocks from me. I’m about to be a Grandma again! Can I help with childcare? Are you kidding me?

Yes. Yes. Yes.

My Grandma duty started this week! This time, I tell myself, “Just remember…

Enjoy the moment…the moment.

I Will Always Carry You

In the beginning,
I didn’t know
just how much I’d love
watching you grow?

In the beginning
I just knew
I wanted you to know me
and me to know you.

So, in the beginning
I carried you and danced around, wild and free.
And then one day, my heart skipped a beat
because, you…you smiled up at me.

Well, time goes by so fast,and every day, you just grew and grew
First you crawled and then you walked.
I had to hurry to keep up with you.

You talk so much now
and you try to be a big boy too
but when you grow tired and reach up to me.
I can’t resist, when you say, “Carry you.”

The words are not quite right yet
Which makes it all so dear.
I just reach down and pick you up.
My heart melts as I hold you near.

Now you have a baby sister;
someone new for me to carry when she cries.
Even though it’s been just a few days,
she looks right at me with trusting eyes.

A little boy and now a baby girl;
I can feel my heart expand.
It just so happens, apparently,
I have plenty of love on hand.

I want to rock and sing to this new baby girl
and, with you, I want to play and play.
But time is passing and my eyes tear up.
Grandma’s visit will end soon. I now live far away.

But there’s a special place
for my little man and now his baby sister too.
It’s this great big place inside my heart,
Where I will always carry you.

Edges Of A Day

My job, right now, is to take the sharpness off the edges of each day.

That’s what I wrote in my journal this morning.

Grandma’s job, when a new baby is born, is to be there; to just be there.

I try to remember back when my second child was born. Who helped me? My mom had died earlier that year. Still, I would not have reached out to her for help. She told me with my first “I raised my kids. I don’t want to raise your’s.” I am a different kind of grandma.

I am here…

This grandma learned, early on, that she needed to stay physically fit to keep up with growing baby number one. And, now that baby is two years old and we play together in bouncy houses and he challenges me to races in the hallway. “Run, grandma, run. Hop, grandma, hop. Roll, grandma, roll”. I get quite a workout from my little trainer.

I am here… to keep him busy while mama cares of the new baby.

The new baby had a need for doctor visits. Something’s not right. Mama and daddy are emotional and stressed.

I am here… to listen and encourage. “Trust that everything will be ok. Trust.”

Big brother doesn’t understand why things are different now. “Daddy, play!” Daddy is busy trying to help mama. Big brother gets louder and louder.

I am here… to give him another option besides screaming.

I try to remember how I did it when my two girls were little. How did I cope with the crying, the noise, the needs of two babies, and mountains of cloth diapers? How did I do it alone?

This grandma raised her children but has more to give.

I am here… to take the sharpness off the edges of the day.

Sweet Memories

Runny nose,
Running feet.
Little boy.
So,
So,
Sweet.

Pushing trucks,
Playing in sand.
Fingerprints left by
His
Little
Hand.

Happy chatter,
Singing songs.
Happy boy,
All
Day
Long.

Home filled.
So much noise!
Watch your step!
So
Many
Toys!

New baby!
Little sister.
“Gentle touch.
Softly,
Kiss
Her.”

Sun sets.
Another day.
Tears fall.
“No
Daddy.
Play!“

Sweet Moments
Flying by.
Cherished memories.
Make
Me
Cry!

I Smiled

Sensory Play Gone Wild

It started out perfect

A great way to play.

Daddy thought you’d like pushing your tractors

Through some rice in a tray.

It was kind of fun.

You were enjoying this play

But then somehow…

Some of the rice got away!

“It’s ok,” Grandma said,

“it won’t hurt a thing.”

And with that you gathered up some more

And gave it a good FLING!

“No, No, No!” Grandma shrieked

That’s not what we do.

And just like that, you reached for

Handful, number two!

Well, Grandma put a stop

To this thing called “sensory play”

Then got out the broom and dustpan

And made you sweep the mess away.

Well, later that day

Grandma had a change of heart

She got out the tray again and thought

We’ll give this “sensory play” thing another start.

But once again, within seconds

Or maybe a wee bit more

Handfuls of rice starting

Bouncing off the floor!

This time, Grandma just studied

This act of simple joy.

The bouncing beads of rice

Seemed to be better than any toy!

You, finally, stood up

It seemed you were done with this explore.

But, oh no, you weren’t satisfied

Until every last bit was on the floor.

In fact, it seemed like all that rice

Had just been in your way.

What you really wanted was

To crawl inside that tray!

Adventures Right Outside My Door

The sun is out. It’s a beautiful day. Who says that a day’s event has to cost money? Instead, you look at me and make the back up sound of a construction vehicle. It’s “beep-beep-beep” but you make the sound with your mouth closed.

“Oh, you want to go to the construction site today?” You nod, “Yes”. It’s your favorite place right now; so many things to point to. So, that’s a plan.

It’s a busy place this morning. Lots of action.

“That’s a forklift, little man. See how easy it is to lift things that are heavy?”

“Look at how high it can go!”

Oops! Distracted by a siren…

Ambulance going by.

Now, back to the business of construction.

“Do you see those men way up high? Hmmm, can’t tell what they’re doing but it must be important otherwise why would they be in that bucket?”

“Let’s go to the other side of the project and see what we can see.”

You have the cutest little gasp! You see a digger just like your’s! Oh my gosh!

And then a cement truck and another forklift.

Every machine is busy. AND LOUD!

You add to the noise by making your own motor sounds and that back up “Beep-Beep-Beep”.

As long as they kept busy, you were entertained.

Placing a steel beam…welding…and then more heavy lifting…so much to look at…so much to see.

It was hard to see through the fence and around the posts.

Sometimes, that frustrated you!

But pretty soon you could see the forklift carry away the heaviest load of all.

And then you waved good-bye as it drove away.

Time to head home, but with lots of stops to say good-bye for the day.

One more look at the men up high. Now, they’re doing something but we still can’t tell what.

Then we counted the number of floors so far.

And then we headed home.

But not before we stopped to look at the motorcycle.

The best yet, though was when we walked up to a restaurant and you made the sign for “eat”.

Now, that’s impressive. “Mama and Daddy take you this restaurant, don’t they?” And…you’re probably hungry.

Before we leave, we have to stop and see the fountain and touch the evergreens – it’s tradition.

Then we turned the corner, the last stretch till we reach home, and what do we see?

Window Washers!

Well, what a day!

So, first we watched them from the outside…

And then….we got to watch them from the inside!

I mean, really! Days with Grandma are full of adventure. One would have thought I planned all of this.

Going To The Zoo, Zoo, Zoo

It’s Auntie Friday and she wants to take you to the zoo. Luckily, I got to tag along. Now, this is how a 20 month old takes on the zoo.

First of all, you wanted out of your stroller. So, it was time to zip up the jacket. It was a little chilly. And then…

You were off! Like an uncaged animal. 🙂

So you had to be corralled.

Ahh…that’s better.

Man, you look so big! When did that happen?

Now, the zoo is full of animals but, truthfully, you were more interested in walking and climbing and taking on that big steering wheel.

Who needs animals?

But, then there was a bird show and Auntie E knew that the show included an owl (hoo-hoo). You would like that, right?

You did, indeed, like the owl but there were sooooo many other birds…I mean, the show lasted a whole 15 minutes! Really? That was way too long to sit. So, luckily, Auntie E had brought along a snack. With a few small outbursts and consuming most of your lunch, you made it through the show.

Now, it was time to actually check out the big animals, but you were already getting tired. Still, we tried.

Partly, you were trying to see and partly you were more interested in sleeping. Still, we made it to the giraffes.