joy – Days With Grandma

How I’ve Come To Teach My Inner Child

Inside of you, there is an inner child. Someone who is innocent, curious, energetic, creative, spontaneous, and free with emotions.

Children! I’ve been drawn to them my whole life.

Surrounded by them in my work life and now into retirement. And I thank God every day for the gift of their laughter, their free spirit, their endless joy, and their unconditional love. But why is this so important to me?

I’ve spent several years, also, reflecting on my past, in particular my childhood. At some points, I grow tired of how it crops up in my memory. It’s like I want to solve something that is done and gone so why am I constantly trying to figure it out?

Well, here is my aha moment. Just today, as I’m reading a chapter in Louise Hay’s “You can heal your life”, it occurred to me. Each of the children, I have spent time with, represent me; the inner me, the child me, the one who always wanted acceptance, encouragement, guidance, praise, and unconditional love. As a child, I didn’t get much of that. As an adult, I still have that inner child yearning. Well, maybe my constant reflections on my past had me wanting to change the messages of my childhood, my inner child.

Now, I see what I have managed to do with my life. I have been raising my inner child the way I wanted to be raised. Does that make sense? I think that maybe if a parent is raising a child with anger, they might be yelling at their own inner child for not being good enough. If they become frustrated with their child perhaps that too is inner child memories. Memories of not being able to compete with other children successfully, not being able to learn as fast, jump as high. Perhaps my mother was dealing with inner child conflicts that I could never have known. I wanted something different.

I have a new take on things, now.

Whenever I work through a project with a child demonstrating care and patience, I realize that I am demonstrating this to my inner child as well. When I read books and talk with my grand daughter about how she can be anything she wants to be, I am empowering me as well as her. When I take time to get down on the floor and play whatever it is they want to play, that’s me down there wanting someone to enjoy spending time with me. When we make up stories or draw silly pictures we are together in growing our creativity. And when we sit together on the couch just snuggling, I am holding that little girl in me who longed so much for unconditional love.

So now, I think, I am living in a constant state of creating me and that, for some reason, makes so much sense and makes me very happy. Not only does it make sense, it will help guide my activities with them now with more patience, understanding and joy.

I will celebrate, every day, my inner child.

Be Open To Joy

My youngest grandchild, just this week, saw two tulips that had finally reached a bloom; a cheerful glorious red just at that budding stage. She was drawn to their color and with toddler haste and focus, she went directly to them.

Before anyone could stop her, she plucked those bright beautiful blooms right off their stems!

Holding the dismembered petals in her little hands, she cried “Oh no! Doctor!”

I mean, how can you not laugh? How can you not be filled with joy just for having the opportunity to be present for this moment to witness a baby child experience cause and effect right before your eyes?

I could have chose anger or frustration. I could have reprimanded. Instead, I let her feel her own remorse. No doctor could put those flowers back together. Her mama picked her up and hugged her and together we were filled with overflowing joy. Joy for just being given that moment.

Days With Grandma Returns

Watch out! This Grandma’s back in business. The antics will continue with the newest baby in the family. Stay tuned.

January 14, 2017

Life Reset

It’s been a while since I’ve written. I had believed that my days with my grandson would last until he went off to school. I had four or five good years, I thought. Then I found out that he was about to become a big brother and my heart exploded. My contract was sure to be extended!

Instead, “Days With Grandma” stopped; moved away.

Days are now visits, some longer than others but, all of them, short. Happiness fills those visits but I’m constantly reminded that it’s a visit. It will end. So, I’ve struggled with writing about the joy that truly fills me each time. Visits are different. I’m a guest…a special guest for sure, but none the less a brief diversion from the new routine. And so I watch as he shows me his new skills; running, climbing, building. I see that he has embraced other little people as well; thrilled to have others his size to run and climb and build with too. He talks and sings now. Words spill freely from his consciousness. How did he learn all of that? Laughter erupts often as he shares his unique view of the world. One day, he described his throat as a drain which was super cute and logical so why did it surprise me when he also said that he had a “poop drain”? Logical, lovable, growing up connections.

He’s now a big brother. He has a little sister. I enjoy my minutes with her but I have to admit, I don’t know her as well. I haven’t watched her every movement from the day she was born. Our relationship has been a Facetime connection. Every time I visit, she looks at me, initially, as a stranger. During the visit, I hold her, rock her, play with her, and love her. But, I don’t have stories to write about her. Her brother commands more attention. She, quietly, observes his antics and throws out big beautiful smiles when we remember that she’s there too. I am determined to visit often so she knows me, truly know me. But, I know it will always be different.

Days With Grandma Returns

Life goes on. Right? Time changes things. I adjust.

And then, I learn there’s a new baby on the way. This baby lives three blocks from me. I’m about to be a Grandma again! Can I help with childcare? Are you kidding me?

Yes. Yes. Yes.

My Grandma duty started this week! This time, I tell myself, “Just remember…

Enjoy the moment…the moment.

Rainy Days And Mondays

A cold and rainy Monday, do you want to hang around inside the house all day? No. Me neither. What to do, what to do! There is this place; it’s called “Chasing Tales“. It’s a giant playroom just for kids like you. We’ve been there before. The minute we pulled into the parking lot it starts; screaming joy from the back seat!

I open the door and the wiggling, squirming, twisting and turning starts.

“I have to pay. We have to take our shoes off.”

Well, go fast, Grandma!

And you’re off.

So much to do.

You run from one area to another; touching, picking up, inspecting,

sometimes stopping to look at another child, briefly,

sometimes wanting to examine the very thing that someone else is playing with,

so you just take it.

They do the same to you as well.

Funny how kids your age don’t really care,

you just move on to the next thing to explore.

Oh wait, there’s another room It’s a giant gym! Running is easy: falling is no big deal. There are things to climb, balls to carry and throw and kick, riding toys; lots of riding toys, slides, a little house with a door that you can open and close by yourself. Ah, baby love!

The noise level is louder in this space, so first you just stand there and scream.

No one cares.

Scream to your hearts content.

Then you’re off: riding, climbing, running, riding, climbing, running.

And then you realized that you were tall enough to climb the biggest structure of all.

You have no fear.

Well, Grandma has a lifetime of fear, so the camera gets put away.

Oh my goodness, you are climbing up some high steps!

Grandma has to climb too. What?

Well, you are not going to fall on my watch!

And after running around and around, back and forth from room to room,

exploring,

touching,

carrying,

throwing,

hitting (oops, sometimes it’s another little kid),

and climbing that structure again and again,

you stand outside of that little house and scream at a little girl, in your baby babble,

because she won’t open the door.

It was time to go home.

You didn’t complain. You were tired.

Still, you jabbered from your carseat all the way back home.

And when we got home, you slept…and so did Grandma.

Perfect rainy day!

To Spoon Or Not To Spoon, That Is The Question

When I was a new mom, everything had to be perfect. Now, as a Grandma, I think the mess is more fun.

To spoon or not to spoon? That is the question.

Whether tis nobler, in the mind, to suffer the pain of learning this mysterious convention or to oppose it and end this hunger.

To eat: To finally eat!

Ah, this thing; a spoon? While full of intrigue, as a vessel, it fails; Incapable of delivering even the smallest morsel to its destination. Precious cargo lost all along the way. Determined, I journey on. Yet, try and try again, this tool seems unworthy of carrying even the smallest of loads.

There must be an easier way!

Now this tool -this thing they’ve named a hand – seems far more capable. One trip and…